|Title: Ponder This|
|pedalpumping > The Official Female Pedal Pumping Message Board > The Litter Box||Go to subcategory：|
Date Posted：11/02/2005 1:14 AMCopy HTML
PONDERISMS? used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.?ardening Rule: When weeding, the bestway to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If itcomes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.?he easiest way to find something lostaround the house is to buy a replacement.?ever take life seriously. Nobody gets outalive anyway.?here are two kinds of pedestrians: thequick and the dead.?ife is sexually transmitted.?ealth is merely the slowest possible rateatwhich one can die?he only difference between a rut and agrave is the depth.?ome people are like Slinkies. Not reallygood for anything, but you still can't help butsmile when you see one tumble down thestairs.?ealth nuts are going to feel stupidsomeday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.?ave you noticed since everyone has acamcorder these days no one talks aboutseeing UFOs like they used to??henever I feel blue, I start breathingagain.?ll of us could take a lesson fromtheweather. It pays no attention to criticism.?n the 60's, people took acid to make theworld weird. Now the world is weird andpeople take Prozac to make it normal.?olitics is supposed to be the second oldestprofession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.?ow is it one careless match can startaforest fire, but it takes a whole box to startacampfire??ho was the first person to look at a cowand say, "I think I'll squeeze these danglythings here, and drink whatever comes out?"?ho was the first person to say, "See thatchicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thingthat comes outta its butt."?hy is there a light in the fridge and not inthe freezer??f Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, whyis there a song about him??hy do people point to their wrist whenasking for the time, but don't point to theircrotch when they ask where the bathroom is??hy does your OB-GYN leave the roomwhen you get undressed if they are going tolook up there anyway??hy does Goofy stand erect while Plutoremains on all fours? They're both dogs!?f Wile E. Coyote had enough money tobuyall that Acme crap, why didn't he just buydinner??f quizzes are quizzical, what are tests??f corn oil is made from corn, and vegetableoil is made from vegetables, then what is babyoil made from??hy do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,Twinkle Little Star have the same tune??o illiterate people get the full effect ofAlphabet Soup??id you ever notice that when you blow in adog's face, he gets mad at you, but when youtake him on a car ride, he sticks his head outthe window??oes pushing the elevator button morethan once make it arrive faster??amp;nbs! p;Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I"ll serve you,
but don"t start anything."
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Date Posted：11/06/2005 11:18 AMCopy HTML